55 lbs?! Really?!

So yesterday was my three week check-up with my bariatric surgeon.  At this appointment I learned that I have lost a total of 55lbs so far.  Now, you might hear that and say , "WOW" but let me tell you what I hear....  "Is that all?"  I hope I will be able to get past this feeling... stay tuned.

For those who follow me on Facebook, I posted a side by side of my highest weight and now.  One would think that I could look at that photo and see the differences and then be really proud of myself. But.. that isn't really where my head goes.

Weight has always been a struggle for me.  It goes up and it goes down within a range of 20 - 30 lbs.  That has always been the case. In a discussion today I realized that in the past I would eat a bag of Fritos or drink a soda and think, that isn't a lot.  Well, hello- that isn't the point. HAHA...  It is SO important that we pay attention to what we are putting in our mouths.

Therefore I have come to the conclusion that it is officially about the macros and WHAT you are putting in your mouth.

Let me take a minute and dispel any myths about weight loss surgery being the 'easy' way out.  I have done A LOT of hard things in my life but this one takes the cake. (a really yummy chocolately cake)  I went through a rigorous approval process that included a mental evaluation.  Then for two weeks before surgery, I was on a liquid diet. After surgery, I was two weeks on a liquid diet and giving myself blood thinner injections.  So the diet after surgery is progressive... you have 200 calories a day for 2 weeks, then 300 calories... and so on and so forth.

Right now I currently average 600 calories a day. I am getting in 60 grams of protein a day - at least.  I am drinking 64 oz of water a day - at least.  I exercise every day and I am trying to do some strengthening exercises.

Did you know that 55 lbs of weight is equal to a 5000 btu air conditioner, or 6 cats or 1/2 a octopus?  Can you imagine if you had to carry an air conditioner around with you ALL DAY, EVERY DAY?!

55 lbs = 44 basketballs
55lbs = 249 blueberry muffins!

Someone suggested I go to the store and try to pick up something that weighs 55 lbs and get a real sense of how much that is.

Positive things I have noticed?  Well, just like when I was doing clean-eating, my mental health is better, my energy is better, I can move more, I am no longer on bp meds, and I no longer need a CPAP machine.

Not that anyone reading this needs to know this but my reasons for doing this was 'medical necessity.' This procedure is supposed to help slow down some of the onset of my chronic illness.  I remember being in one of my pre-op nutrition classes and discussing exercise, the PT person asked if anyone has pain issues - I was the ONLY one who raised their hand.  How is that even possible?!

So here is to better mental health and a stronger physical body in 2020~ #joyinmyjourney

Oh Monday....

Today is my first day back to work in almost a month.  To say it is kickin' my can would be an understatement.

.......7 hours later.....

Something weird happened to me at work today.  I knew I felt tired but then I just felt like I was losing my ability to think clearly.  I have been having some issues with the nerve endings in my body, for lack of another description.  Anyway, I took some medicine for my issue and I don't know what happened but it completely wiped me out.  I was literally talking to my boss and then the next thing I hear is, 'are you okay?'  Anyway.... I came home and went to bed.

So today I am going to blog about finding joy in the midst of chronic illness.

Joy conjures up different visions for each of us.  It is a feeling that can be simple or grand, experienced in a multitude of ways and occur when we least expect it.

I have a chronic illness.  Some days I hardly notice it and other days it loudly lets me know it is alive and well.  So how does one find joy in the midst of living with a chronic illness. Often, my focus becomes on managing pain and symptoms, and figuring out how to deal with things I never asked for.

Chronic illness can keep you from doing the things you want to do.  Believe it or not, I wanted to work today.  I have a lot to do!

Here are a few things I have learned:

• It is OK to Slow Down.

Chronic illness has a special way of reminding us that we need to slow down. Just to be clear, slowing down does not mean you have given up or you are letting your disease win. It simply means you are respecting where your body is right now and reaping the benefits. By slowing down, we can enjoy the moment we are in in its purest form.

• You MUST Practice Self-care

We are a busy society with very full schedules that generally don’t allow for self-care. Instead, we keep going until our bodies finally say, “no more.” At this point, a full flare takes over – our bodies amazing way of demanding we slow down and take care of ourselves.

Take today for instance... my boss said, you go home and rest.  Your health is the first priority.  I would want to push through... but he is encouraging and supportive.  I am SO grateful for that.

Self-care is 100% necessary for everyone, but even more so when living with a chronic illness. At first it might selfish to set time aside for yourself. But keep at it. Soon, you will see that it not only helps your body, but also allows you to feel joy in ways you may never have experienced it.

A few simple self-care starter ideas:
Add five minutes to your daily routine to stop and just breathe
Step away from the computer/phone and thank one part of your body for the amazing work it is doing
Hug someone you love. When hugging them, really feel it. If you do, that amazing feeling will stay with you all day

I LOVE hugging!!!  I also have a great friend that is good at reminding me of the importance of self-care.  It is definitely NOT selfish - it is necessary.

• Find Gratitude

Finding gratitude while in pain takes time and patience with yourself. There have been plenty of times when I could barely walk.... however, at the end of the day, I tried to be grateful for making it through the day.  While the pain was awful and I hate it- I made it through.

Recently we went to Australia and I do SO much walking.  There were times I really hated it but I remembered that there was a time when I never would have been able to do all that walking.  I am incredibly blessed and working on loving and appreciating my body even when it is in pain.

To me, gratitude is magical. When I reflect on one good thing that is happening, my mind instantly thinks of another one and then another. Feeling joy rather than anger is a much better place to be.

Start each day with two things you feel gratitude towards and before nodding off to sleep, remind yourself of two things from the day. 

• Remember that chronic illness is only one part of your life

While your health condition may intertwine itself in all parts of your life, it is not your entire existence. Other things are still happening around you. Look for those things – a delicious meal, snuggling with your sweetheart, or laughing and/or playing with your grandchild. Feeling terrible all day every day takes a lot of work. Separate your illness, even for a short time, and feel the energy that comes from the joy remaining in other areas of your life.

• Find your purpose

When you know your purpose in life and you are making it happen, joy naturally follows. I am surprised at how many people don’t know their purpose in life. What I suggest is thinking about things that you are naturally drawn to repeatedly or the things that others complement you on. For some people, their purpose may be as simple as having a smile that turns other people’s days into beautiful ones.

Do you know your purpose? It changes as life brings us new challenges. When you find it, absorb all the joy that it brings with it.

• Lastly - and one of my favorites!!!  Connect with people who find joy in your joy

One of the best feelings is when you share something wonderful, no matter how small, and the person you are sharing it with beams. They don’t try to compete with you or even feel the need to share something of their own. They just bask in your joy. Find those people, surround yourself with them, and then give that gift right back.

For all the wonderful people in my life that find JOY in my JOY - THANK YOU!!!!!
#JOYINMYJOURNEY


REMINDER - Joy is ever-changing. What brings you joy today may be different tomorrow. Keep searching for it. Keep spreading it.

Steering Your Joy

Personally, I do not believe that JOY comes from external sources.  Do I think that external factors can bring you JOY?  Heck yes!

However, I believe that being able to access genuine JOY from inside is crucial. So how do we do that?

I ordered a book today called, 'The Joy Compass: Eight Ways to Find Lasting Happiness, Gratitude, and Optimism in the Present Moment' by Donald Altman.  One of the things he says is that joy is a state of moment to moment being and experiencing. So basically, being aware.   Sounds easy enough, right?

Well, yesterday was a tough day for me and I knew during the days leading up to it that it was going to be challenging so I made sure that those closest to me knew where I was at.  I consider that a win because rather than burying my feelings and getting stuck in the mire, I acknowledged where I was at. Is that being aware?  I am not sure but I am looking forward to reading the book when it arrives.

In the midst of my day yesterday, one of my daughter-in-laws reached out to me with this video:

If you watched that video without smiling and/or laughing, I have no idea how you did it. haha.  You know what?  I felt a real, true sense of JOY when I watched that.  

Have you heard the old adage, "Laughter is the Best Medicine" Well, I think that there is a lot of truth to that.

As I mentioned before, I love research.  Well, research has shown that laughter can bolster physical health and reduce stress.  A study I read found that cancer patients who watched a humorous video had increased immune function.  Another study I found said that laughter helps stave off depression.  Do you think that is true?

I do!

So... laugh!!  Read something funny, watch a funny video....  whatever it is for you, do it!

#joyinmyjourney

 

And So It Begins....

The journey that is.  I am looking forward to discovering more about myself through this process.

Today is 19 years since my Mic was called back to our Father in Heaven.  19 Years - where has all that time gone.  When I talk about, why joy, I mentioned that nothing is more certain that change. I can honestly say that losing Mic was one of, if not thee, greatest challenge in my life.  People who know me well have heard me say this before but for those who haven't.... here goes....  when Mic died, I feel like I had my whole life mapped out on this big chalkboard and that Heavenly Father came up with a big eraser and wiped the board... I fell to a huge pile of tears and he lifted me up and said, it is okay... you will draw a new map and I will be with you the whole time.   Now this isn't to say that he wiped away anything other than my idea of what my life would be like.  To say it was traumatic is an understatement.

I have learned so much about myself in the last 19 years.  I am grateful for that. I know that 19 years ago, I would not have used the word grateful to describe anything related to losing Mic.  See... growth!

It hasn't been easy.
I wouldn't trade a thing.
#joyinmyjourney

Since we are beginning a new year, I want to take a minute and share a few highlights from this year, in no particular order:

• The kids came to visit us in Iowa.
• Michael & Kaitlyn were sealed for time & all eternity.
• Our granddaughter, Amara Rae, was born.
• Halley got a job that she thoroughly loves.
• I had weight loss surgery.
• We spent 18 days in Australia.
• Jake & Kenlee moved to Oregon and Jake has begun an amazing career.
• Michael picked up a new hobby (leather-making!) 
• Ring around the rosie with Emery.
• Alex & Halley went to Seattle together.

This is just a small list of all the wonderful things that have happened in my life in the last year.  I am incredibly blessed with a husband who loves me, amazing children, beautiful daughter-in-laws, and adorable granddaughters.